Sorry
by CorinaEder
Summary: Set after Trail of Blood but no real spoilers...  They are both sorry for what they did. Can they make things right again?


_Soooooo I finally finished another one^^ _

_I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes, hope you can understand it anyway :D  
I hope you like it!_

_Have fun!_

_And reviews are always welcome :D_

**Sorry**

Helen sat down on the seat next to him. „You don't mind, do you?"

„Nikola? Are you alright?" He still didn't look at her. „I...I need to apologise. For my earlier behaviour. I'm sorry for what I said."

Finally he turned towards her, the same hurt expression visible on his face as before. „You don't know what it's like... to lose yourself, your life. I was only trying to become myself again. If you don't want me to then there's nothing to apologise for." He turned his head away and looked out of the window again ignoring Helen completely. After a few minutes he heard rustling of fabric but by the time he looked at the seat next to him he was alone once again. Not that he cared, he had been alone his entire life and even more since he lost his vampirism. What really hurt him was Helen's reaction. She didn't want him to become himself again, so it was now clear to him that she didn't feel anything for him or at least not the way he thought she did. And that broke his heart. She came to apologise because she thought she had to and not because she wanted to. What's an apology worth if deep down you know it's only a lie? When it's not out of honesty or because you care but only to make yourself feel better. Worthless. Just like he was now.

A few hours later...

„Nikola"! Someone in his dream was calling his name. _Helen?_ „Dude, wake up!"Then a not too pleasant poke on his shoulder and he jerked awake. „Ouch! What was that for, Tiny Tim?"

„Sorry, Vlad, but we need your help." Henry told him.

Nikola was pissed. He'd woken him from his well needed sleep and started bugging him already. „And what is it this time?"

„It's the doc. We don't know what's wrong with her. Ya know, she doesn't talk, is staring into nothing. She won't let anyone talk to her, not even Will. Perhaps you could do something?"

Nikola was surprised. Why did he tell him? And why was the whole situation affecting Helen so much? „Why should I care? You were down there with us, you heard what she said... she doesn't want me anywhere near her anymore."

Henry rolled his eyes. „For being a genius you can be really ignorant sometimes. You really don't see it, do you?" Nikola just kept staring at Henry. „She's in love with you, dude! What did you think?"  
„Well, it's really hard to misinterpret what she said down in the caves... Are you sure?"

Henry flashed him a grin. „A hundred percent. Better not screw this one up, okay. She needs you!"

Nikola stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder. „Thanks, buddy. You're not so bad after all."

And with that he left, walking off to have a conversation he should have had years ago.

Nikola found her in the last corner of the storage sitting on the ground with her chin resting on her knees. He stood in the doorway for a few seconds and watched her quietly until he noticed her shoulders were shaking. He took a few steps forward, unsure of what to do since it was him who caused her pain.

„Helen?" His heart broke as he heard her sobbing. „Go 'way!"

In no time he kneeled before her and hold her gently by her shoulders.  
„Look at me, Helen. Please!"

„God damn you! Leave me alone!" She cried with her head still buried in her hands.

„I won't! Not ever again will I leave you alone!" He told her in a gentle voice. „Because you're everything I have left in this world, Helen. I made the mistake of leaving you once and I don't intend to make it again."

Finally she raised her head ans looked into his eyes. His heart broke as he saw the tears rolling down her cheeks. Nikola gently wiped them away and Helen leaned into his touch savouring the feel of his warm skin agains hers. It was something she longed to feel for her entire life.

He took her in his arms and hugged her tightly while she cried against his chest letting out all the pain which had gathered over the last years. She knew it wouldn't take all the pain away but at least it would help agains the constant ache in her heart. She had felt like this before, after she was told that her fiancé was Jack the Ripper, after her father had left her and after Ashley's death. Then she always went to her closest friends, James in her case, for help. But Nikola had always beed the only one who could make her feel better, who could take almost all the pain away. He was the only man in the world who always understood her and the only man in the world who she thought would never leave her. And if she was honest with herself, the only man in her life she'd ever truly loved.

They sat together for some more time, neither of them wanting to let go of the other one just yet. As Helen's grip on his shirt tightened again he drew her even closer to himself, holding her and giving her strenght while whispering soothing words into her ear. After she stopped crying again she shifted a littele so that her head was now resing on his shoulder and Nikola's head laid on top of hers with his cheek resting on her hair. Nikola never wanted this moment to end but he knew if he wanted to make things right between them again he had to talk to her and apologise for his actions.

„I'm sorry, Helen. For putting you through this. I should have known better." he whispered. „I just thought you'd be happy to hear that I could become my old self again. But I didn't think about the consequences for you or anyone else. I only hope that you can forgive me one last time."

She pulled back to look into his eyes. What she saw in them made her heart stop beating. Regret, hurt, fear and something else she couldn't describe. It was the same look as before when she shouted at him or when she came to talk to him on the plane. Now she was sure he had really needed her help and had not wanted to endager them, now she realized that he wasn't trying to become a vampire again because he was selfish but because he wanted to be with her, now she knew the reason why he'd saved their lives and almost gave his in return. She finally found the answer to all her questions and it almost made her cry again.

„There's nothing to forgive. I didn't understand what you were doing down there or why but now I do. I just couldn't stop seeing you as the arrogant and selfish half-vampire you were. You're a better person now... I'm sorry I didn't realize that sooner."

„So you don't hate me?"

Helen was shocked. How could he even think that? „What? What made you think I hate you?"

„I saw it in your eyes, heard it in your voice. What you said... you said you'd destroy everything and kill me if I interfered. What was I supposed to think?"

She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. „I'm so sorry, Nikola." she cried „I didn't mean to hurt you so badly. I'm so sorry. I could never hate you, not after everything you've done for me. You almost died for of me..." She stopped. Tears were running down he face again.

Nikola gently stroked her head, waiting for her to calm down again. After a while she did and he spoke up again. „But I didn't. None of us died and that's all that matters."

„Thank you." was all she said before she rested har head against his chest again. Nikola held her a few minutes longer while gently rubbing her back until he noticed that Helen had fallen asleep. He slowly picked her up and carried her back to the seats again where he laid her down and tucked a blanket around her. Nikola knelt down next to her and kissed her forehead. „Sleep well my love." he whispered before he stood up again and left.

Behind his back Will and Henry looked at each other in utter disbelieve.


End file.
